Karlito, Karlito

[Intro] Ladies and gents, turn up your sound systems To the sound of Karlito Bassive PKB [Guitar solo] [Chorus] Oh, Carlito, CarlitooooooOOOooo He reminds me of a herald player Growing up in Mexicana He really couldn't get any lamer Oh, Carlito, CarlitooooooOOOooo Why you no press BKB You lost the game for your entire team (¿Por qué pierdes el juego, mano?) [Verse 1] Stop the farming, stop the feeding You didn’t even raze What you doing, Carlitos? Did you forget your buttons, ayy? Se mira Carlito in the basement Thinking of ways to win the game Maybe start by pressing your buttons, bud How do you get up in the morning, man? This is getting insane He got girl problems in the chat all day Typing be right back then he throws the play Simping in WhatsApp while he griefs the lane No BKB press, just misplays again [Verse 2] Johnny, we coming for your headtop too Passive Mars ult, what’s that do? Walking in the river, level 6 - What’s that do? Asking himself, “They banned Dawnbreaker - What do I do?” Keith in the lobby, thinking he’s so O P But this ain’t Counter-Strike or Call of Duty Stick to headshots, bro, that’s your real game Last time you queued dota, we uninstalled in shame Mohsen, it’s time to retire the Bristleback, bro You peaked long ago, it’s okay to let it go But that Dragon Knight? We love that pick And your Beastmaster micro still kinda sick Let's just try to stay away from those cliffs [Mini Chorus] Oh, Carlito, CarlitooooooOOOooo Why you no press BKB You lost the game for your entire team Mikki forever trying to carry Johnny and Handala But he’s tired of 1v9, he can’t go on Now he’s pinging me like, “Bro, I need you mid” ’Cause Johnny’s Mars ult still doing nothing - kid Warren, stay in Coventry, keep singing in the stands We’d rather hear you chant than you griefing in our ranked Wave that little scarf around and hype up all the fans ’Cause your feeding KDA got our MMR all tanked Mamba gets tilted when Handala screams Leaves Discord and Dota, disappears from the team One “report mid” and he’s gone for the night Last seen online in a bot-match fight [Bridge] Oh, oh, Handala, Handala Never checks the minimap, running in blind Four heroes missing, he don’t read the signs We’re spamming pings, he’s like “who?” in chat We swear he’s deaf too, never hears the strat Please stop insta-locking carry Your farm is slow and your tilts are scary Time to swap it up, play support, my friend Buy some wards and let Mikki end [Verse 3] Oh, Carlito, CarlitooooooOOOooo He’s got BKB glowing golden bright Still dies stunned in every fight Says, “Lag, bro, my ping was high” But scoreboard shows that’s a straight-up lie He blames the draft, he blames the roam He blames the mid, the patch, the friendzone But every clip we save and slow-mo view It’s just Carlito not pressing Q [Outro – Spoken] Alex Ancient now, Mikki can’t 1v9 Warren at Coventry, chanting on the side Mamba alt-F4 (dodger), Handala needs to play support Mohsen in depkid mode, Keith gameplay so boring, please report But Carlito… mi Carlito… Next time, just press the BKB, hermano… Por favor… [Guitar solo, fade out]

Added 30 Mar 2026