I'm Crab Man

For my good friend, Arnold Phelps, aka "Crab Man". Bob Seger wrote the original song "Turn The Page". These are my revised lyrics: I get to work by 7:30 Like the way I always do The phone's already ringing 'cause they haven't got a clue I say "call McKesson" "there's nothing I can do." Here I am on the phone again There I am on a conference call Here I go bouncing portal again There I go - I'm crab man I'm ready to push the button Fix the problem right away But someone says wait We've got to do a change It makes me feel frustrated And I want to get away Here I am on the phone again There I am on a conference call Here I go bouncing portal again There I go - I'm crab man I walk into the Quickie Mart Always play the lottery Prayin' to the lotto gods Come through some day for me And when that day comes up I'll be history Here I am on the phone again There I am on a conference call Here I go bouncing portal again There I go - I'm crab man Out there in the darkness I'm 40 miles away Every ounce of energy I gave it out today The sweat pours out my body Like the basketball I play Here I am on the phone again There I am on a conference call Here I go bouncing portal again There I go - I'm crab man And then the phone rings Like the way it always has Barbara Ward is calling There's a problem with CAF I can't get to my PC Updates have made it boot Here I am on the phone again There I am on a conference call Here I go bouncing portal again There I go - I'm crab man

Added 21 Sept 2026